Only time will tell

 Dear lost self,

Did I disappear? No, I was here all along, silent and enjoying/ succumbing to the world's chaotic energy.

What a long gap it has been!? I'm almost nervous...

So let this blog be an ice breaker as I present my timidity and silently hope and pray that you don't relate to it.

 

I mostly write what my head tells me, and my head and mind do not follow a poetic rhythm, but only logic, pre-conceived notions, and (sometimes baseless) convictions. The heart however sings with rhythm and harmony of freedom and provides me a safe space to be timid and insecure. When I was young (younger than what I am right now), I used to make fun of people who talked about their heart wanting something and their head telling them something entirely different. I was a moron (still am in most fronts of life) and did not understand that the world is not black and white, but the spectrum of colors in between. And now I am myself out on the hunt to find this balance between "head-&-heart".

In philosophical terms, this journey of "self-discovery" is never-ending, and that there will be no concrete formula or path. So maybe I should calm down. But in today's age of competition and tumultuous storm of activities, I feel extreme external pressure to settle down and be sorted in all my endeavors. So whom do I believe or rush to? 

Should I submit myself to the fear of the unknown and subsequently emerge out as someone outwardly shiny? Or should I just endure my thoughts and actions and let fate take its course and tread on a path of mediocrity? Or should I become an ascetic, first heal my soul and then touch the world? 

The possibilities are infinite and the answer following these directions is beyond my imagination. So I'll end this note by saying, "only time will tell".

Take care and stay safe...